Endings and Beginnings
by Todash
Summary: As B.J. faces the darkest, most difficult period of his life, Hawkeye is there to help him through it. Slash. Updated with Chapters 13, 14, and 15. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Endings and Beginnings****  
**

_May 1957_

Hawkeye was struck by how tiny Erin looked as she sat in the hospital's waiting area, her hands folded in her lap. Not just tiny but vulnerable, and very close to tears.

He made a beeline toward her but was taken aback to see her recoiling at his bold approach. Then he realized that she didn't recognize him, and he forced himself to slow down, even though he wanted desperately to go to her and sweep her into a comforting embrace. "Erin? You don't remember me, huh? Well, that makes sense, it's been a long time since you saw me last. I'm Hawkeye."

Her eyes widened a little, perhaps surprised that her dad's friend had come all the way across the country, but her mouth curved into a shy smile, so similar to her dad's. "Oh," she said in a small voice. "Hi. Did my daddy call you?"

Hawkeye took a seat next to her, still playing it safe and not touching her, though he was fairly certain the poor child could use a hug. Best to take his cue from her. "Yeah, he called and I came just as soon as I could. Is he in with your mom?"

Erin nodded. She was swinging her legs nervously. He looked around to see if she'd been left with any playthings or books… anything to keep her occupied… but there was nothing. "Erin, listen, I want to see your dad and let him know that I'm here, but then I'm going to come right back here and sit with you, OK? Or we can take a walk or go get something to eat in the cafeteria, whatever you feel like doing. Can you wait here a second while I go see your dad?"

"Sure." She pointed toward the hallway. "Her room is down there."

He nodded; he had already gotten the room number from a nurse on his way in. "Be right back, sweetie."

B.J. was bent over his wife's body when Hawkeye stepped into the room, and at first he had the horrific thought that Peg had passed. But no, the machines above her bed were reflecting her vitals, however weak they were. B.J. was apparently just exhausted, and resting his head as he sat vigil.

"Beej?" Hawkeye said softly.

B.J.'s head snapped up at the sound of his best friend's voice. The look in his eyes was a mixture of relief, gratitude, and sorrow. In the next instant, he was up and in Hawkeye's arms, crying and holding on so tightly that Hawkeye had difficulty breathing. Hawk ran a soothing hand over his back and waited out the emotional reaction. He glanced at B.J.'s sleeping wife. She was very pale and looked much older than she was. The cancer had really taken a toll on her. Hawkeye wasn't sure he would've recognized her out of context.

"She's leaving me, Hawk," B.J. finally managed to say.

"I'm so sorry." Hawkeye knew it was the only possible response in such a situation, but it was terribly inadequate. "Beej, I'm here for you. I'm here."

B.J. nodded against Hawkeye's shoulder and eventually pulled back to look at his face. "I can't thank you enough for coming all the way out here…"

"Stop. Anything you need, you got it." With his thumb, he wiped away a tear under B.J.'s left eye. "I'm glad you called me, I'm glad to help." He took another look at Peg, then shifted his attention back to B.J. He didn't have to ask about her condition; he could tell. "Right now," he continued, "you need to be here with your wife. That needs to be your whole focus. And I promised Erin some food or a walk or whatever she wants."

"You're a godsend. She hated being in here… seeing Peg like this upsets her too much. But sitting out there in the waiting area, that has to be scary too. I didn't know what to do. I'm so… Hawkeye, everything is too confusing right now."

"And that's exactly why I'm here. To help you out. You stay here with Peg. I'll go with Erin to get some lunch, and then we'll come back here and we'll figure out what comes next." He gave a reassuring smile as he rubbed B.J.'s shoulder. "All right?"

B.J. tried a return smile but he didn't have one in him. "You're a godsend," he repeated.

Hawkeye leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, then gently laid a hand on Peg's arm as she continued to sleep. He wished he could do something for the woman, but it was clear, at least to him, that the end would be coming soon. It tore his heart out. He was a doctor… his instinct was to heal, but in cases like this, medicine had no answers.

Without another word, he left the room and headed back to the waiting area, where Erin still sat stiffly in the hard plastic chair, staring blankly at nothing. "Hey, young miss," he said, trying to make his voice light, "how about I buy you some lunch?"

She shrugged, but got to her feet slowly, as if it were the hardest thing she'd had to do all day. She offered her hand and he took it, leading her off in the direction of the cafeteria. He took small steps to keep pace with her, realizing he felt paternal and protective. Uncle Hawkeye would help her through her nightmarish day. And as many days after that as he was needed.


	2. Chapter 2

It was unseasonably cold for mid-May on the day of the funeral. By the time they were standing at the gravesite, the wind had picked up. Erin kept complaining that she was "freezing" and she wanted to go home and snuggle with her dog. Hawkeye understood it was her fear and grief talking more than her actual discomfort.

He'd had to give a sedative to B.J., who was in such anguish that he was barely speaking. Whenever the situation called for B.J. to walk somewhere, Hawkeye had to put an arm around him and physically get him moving, then support him as they went. He was more like a ventriloquist's dummy than B.J. Hunnicutt.

Hawkeye had no idea how they all got through it, but they did. After the pastor's "ashes to ashes" speech, after the praying and the weeping, after Peg's coffin was lowered six feet into the ground, Hawkeye took his two charges and put them in the car and got them the hell home.

The wind ushered in cold rain, and the evening turned stormy.

*****

B.J.'s bedroom was dark. Hawkeye stepped in, certain his friend was awake. Sedative or not, he was doing a lot of tossing and turning as he lay there on his bed… what used to be his and Peg's bed.

Softly: "Beej?"

"Yeah."

"Want me to get you anything?" It was going on midnight and Erin had only just fallen asleep minutes ago. Hawkeye knew because he'd sat there by her bed, watching and waiting. She'd done a lot of crying as he stroked her hair and tried to soothe her with empty words. Then finally exhaustion had caught up with her and she'd conked out.

Now he turned his attention to B.J., who'd been so deep in despair he hadn't even been able to comfort his own daughter as they witnessed their precious Peg laid to rest. The whole day had been like a horrible dream, and by now Hawkeye was desperate for it to end.

"Just wondering," he prodded since B.J. wasn't answering, "if you need anything."

"Yeah. My wife back," B.J. bitterly replied.

Hawkeye had no response to that. In the darkness, he moved to the bed and sat down next to his friend, gently placing a hand on his chest. "You'll get through this, Beej. You will."

B.J. didn't say anything, but he took hold of Hawkeye's hand as it rested on his chest and gripped it tightly. To Hawkeye it felt as if he were hanging on like a man about to fall off a cliff.

"I can stay with you tonight if you want me to," he offered then, unaware he was going to say it until it came out of his mouth.

"Please," B.J. said, and Hawkeye stretched out next to him on the bed, pulling him close. It was as if the simple act of being held released something inside B.J., and he began to sob in Hawkeye's arms. For most of the day, B.J. had been stoic and dazed; now the pent-up emotions came out full force.

"I've got you, Beej. Let it out… I'm here and I've got you."

Like his daughter, B.J. cried for a long time and then finally drifted off as fatigue dragged him under. Although he was bone-tired as well, Hawkeye didn't follow his friend into sleep. His mind was on overdrive as jumbled thoughts kept leapfrogging over each other.

He'd already been gone from Crabapple Cove for almost a week, and he had no idea how long he was going to be staying out here in Mill Valley. As long as B.J. and Erin needed him, he supposed, but there was no clear answer to that. His dad was running the practice in his absence—his dad, who had _retired_ from the practice less than a year ago. At least he was willing and able to fill in, which was a huge weight off Hawkeye's shoulders. But being AWOL like this… well, it couldn't go on indefinitely.

He couldn't imagine leaving B.J. in this condition. He was in bad shape, still in shock and nearly unable to function in his grief. It was going to take some time for him to get back to normal… if "normal" was even anywhere on the horizon at all.

His arm had gone to sleep so he shifted position, mindful not to awaken B.J. He got settled again and pulled his best friend close to him, inhaling his scent, so familiar after so much time spent living side by side. _Literally_ side by side. Inappropriate as it was under the circumstances, part of Hawkeye acknowledged that he still had intense feelings for this man… feelings he'd been repressing for years. Feelings that had so overwhelmed him at times, he'd felt like he might be losing his mind. He'd often had to talk himself out of his own impulses. Best friend… _married_ best friend… _happily_ married best friend… who didn't give any indication that he would even remotely consider a romance with another man.

Falling in love is not a choice; it just happens. And when Hawkeye Pierce fell in love with B.J. Hunnicutt in the middle of the Korean War, it was not something he could turn off or get away from. It was always there with him. It was frustrating and excruciating and beautiful and amazing. Some days it made his heart soar and other days it made his heart sore. He lived right next to a man he could not have, but he wouldn't have traded a second of their time together for anything.

The fact that he managed to never confess his feelings was something he was ridiculously proud of. He'd taken all that torment and kept it hidden, valuing their friendship far too much to bring any awkwardness to it.

B.J. was, and remained, oblivious. But holding him now as he slept, breathing in the aroma that was so uniquely _him_, once again brought back that old internal struggle: the joy of being in love with him followed by the pain of not being able to express it.

Except for now, as B.J. slept, it was probably all right to say it… because it was something Hawkeye felt very much like saying at that moment. "I love you, Beej," he whispered in the dark, as the clock inched toward 1 a.m. "I love you and I'll take care of you. If you want, I'll stay here forever."

It was a good thing B.J. didn't hear him, because that turned out to be a hollow promise.


	3. Chapter 3

B.J. blinked at Hawkeye, a wounded look in his eyes. "Well of course I knew you wouldn't be staying forever, Hawk, but this just feels kind of sudden. I wish you didn't have to go already."

"Sorry, Beej," Hawkeye said firmly. "Dad needs me back at work." He hated lying to his best friend—_hated_ it—but he wasn't going to spout out the truth either. It'd been three weeks since he arrived in Mill Valley, ready and more than willing to help B.J. and his daughter through this nightmare. Three weeks that had evolved into the most comfortable, cozy feeling of family and togetherness that he'd ever known outside of his relationship with his father. Three weeks that had shown him a future that was clearly out of the question: living with B.J. and helping to raise his child.

It was everything he wanted in life, and he knew he couldn't have it.

For several nights now, he'd lain in the guest-room bed unable to sleep for a whole slew of reasons. But probably the biggest was sexual frustration… playing house with his best friend and wanting the kind of relationship that implied. He needed to get away from the temptation. He needed to put 3000 miles between them again.

"I'm sorry," he repeated now, because B.J. wasn't saying anything. "Will you be… Will you and Erin be all right?"

B.J. waved his hand, "Sure." But he didn't sound convinced. He sounded hurt, and it drove a knife into Hawkeye's heart. After a moment, B.J. nodded his head as if agreeing with some unspoken comment. "I guess I'm being selfish. Of course you need to get back to your life, Hawk. You've been nothing less than wonderful these last few weeks. I don't know how we would've managed if you hadn't dropped everything to come and help."

Hawkeye moved into his arms and held him, feeling about a hundred different emotions roll through him. He didn't really _have_ to leave yet; his dad was doing just fine with the practice. But it was for the best, at least for Hawkeye's best if not for B.J.'s. He was the one being selfish here.

"You're a strong man, B.J. Hunnicutt," he murmured into his friend's hair. "You've always been stronger than me. You're going to be OK, and so is Erin."

B.J. nodded, though Hawkeye heard him sniffling. Hawkeye shut his eyes. This was hard as hell, but to stay longer would only make it harder.

Hawkeye left for home the next day.


	4. Chapter 4

_Seven months later…_

Hawkeye grinned as soon as he saw the return address on the envelope. Good ol' Mill Valley, California. He tore it open as he headed back into the house, his spirits lifted simply by seeing B.J.'s handwriting.

It was a photo Christmas card, B.J. and Erin wearing matching smiles and sitting on either side of Waggle, the family dog, who also seemed to be smiling if that was possible. Waggle had a Santa cap on his head. Hawkeye imagined it must have taken some time to get the pose just right, considering dogs weren't normally fond of wearing jolly hats for any length of time.

He opened up the card and inside, in B.J.'s scrawl, was: _Merry Christmas! We miss you! Please come and visit us soon. Love, B.J. and Erin_

For such a simple message, it sure did set off a whole range of emotions in Hawkeye, the primary one being a reciprocation of the feelings expressed in the card: he missed them both so much. As he stood there looking down at the card, he felt his stomach tighten with the weight of his longing.

It was seven months since Peg had passed away. Hawkeye and B.J. talked often on the phone (not quite as much lately, with the holidays approaching and both of them caught up in their respective preparations), but Hawkeye hadn't been out to California since the day he went running home to the safety of his predictable, carefree life. He could tell from B.J.'s phone calls that his depression gradually lifted, and that Erin slowly adjusted to the loss of her mother. He was sure it was difficult as hell for them, but they were strong, and they had each other. He may have been all the way across the country, but it was heartening to follow their healing process. The first time Hawkeye heard B.J. laugh, it brought tears to his eyes.

He looked again at the photo on the front of the card, and before he had a change of heart, he went to the phone and dialed the number.

Hell yes, B.J. assured him, of course we meant it when we said come visit!

Hawkeye booked a flight out west for December 30.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hawkeye," Erin said, pointing to the page she was coloring in her book, "what color do you think I should make the car?"

He leaned down to get a better look at her picture. "I think," he answered, perusing the array of crayons spread out in front of her on the floor, "that the car should be pink."

"OK!" she said enthusiastically, picking up her pink crayon.

Hawkeye exchanged a look with B.J. in an attempt to convey: _Your daughter is entirely too cute._

B.J., sitting next to him on the couch, only laughed lightly, clearly enjoying the family moment.

_And you're damn cute, too,_ Hawkeye thought as he watched the light in B.J.'s eyes.

It was New Year's Eve, and they were watching Guy Lombardo on TV, awaiting the big countdown to 1958. Erin had begged to stay up until midnight with them, and B.J. had relented, but confided in Hawkeye that she would probably fall asleep long before 12.

Nope, she was still wide awake and coloring, and it was 11:55. The excitement of being up well past her bedtime was obviously propelling her along.

Hawkeye took a sip of his wine and stole another glance at B.J. The three of them had fallen back into their cozy routine in just the couple days Hawkeye'd been back. "Uncle" and Dad and little Erin. The way they all interacted with each other was natural and effortless.

Hawkeye remembered with great clarity why he'd gone running home the last time. The same feelings were resurfacing; the desire to have this life, and the painful realization that he couldn't.

He forced his attention back to the TV and tried to focus on the music. Next to him on the couch, B.J. shifted a little… and seemed to move closer.

"I'm glad to put 1957 behind me," B.J. remarked, and Hawkeye glanced over at him.

"Shitty year," he agreed.

"Thanks for being such a rock for me. For both of us."

Hawkeye waved a hand dismissively. They'd had this conversation before; it seemed that B.J. could never thank Hawkeye enough. "You know that I was happy to do it. I wish I could've done more."

Their gazes met… and held.

_Wish I could've done more. __Been__ more. I ran away, and that was wrong, but I won't run away from you again. _

B.J. broke off the intense eye contact and turned his attention back to the TV as the countdown to midnight began. All three of them were drawn to it, gleefully adding their own voices. "Ten, nine, eight, seven…"

Erin was screaming out the numbers now, she was so wound up. Then she stood up and began to jump around. Hawkeye was laughing so hard he couldn't finish the countdown. He sat there watching father and daughter yelling at the TV, "Three, two, one! Happy New Year!"

He let the two of them hug each other before he first pulled Erin into his arms, and then embraced B.J. They were all laughing now, and to Hawkeye it sounded like beautiful music. He was so happy to see the Hunnicutts welcoming 1958 in good spirits.

On the TV, as the Guy Lombardo band played "Auld Lang Syne," couples stopped dancing long enough to welcome in the new year with a kiss. Hawkeye watched, feeling suddenly self-conscious… acutely aware of B.J. next to him… ridiculously convinced that it must be written all over his face that he wanted to kiss his best friend. He could feel his cheeks turn red and his mouth go dry. The room felt very warm.

If B.J. really could read that thought, he gave no indication. After a moment, he clapped his hands once and announced to Erin, "OK, that's it, young miss. You got to see the countdown to midnight, and now I have to insist that you go to bed." He held out his hand and she took it without protest. "Be right back, Hawk, after I tuck her in. Please help yourself to more wine if you want."

Hawkeye studied his wine glass, considering that offer, but then decided he'd better not have any more. Best to keep his wits about him tonight. He was already feeling pretty unsteady.

When B.J. returned to the couch a few minutes later, the kissing on the TV was mercifully over. The couples were back to their slow-dancing while Guy Lombardo kept the music coming.

B.J. picked up his own wine glass and clinked it against Hawkeye's. "Happy 1958, Hawk," he said softly.

Hawkeye could only nod. He'd somehow lost his power of speech for the moment, staring into bright blue eyes that were too damn close. He was utterly unable to strip this scenario of its romantic overtones. He was sure it was all in his head, but it was powerful, and powerfully tempting.

He mirrored B.J. and sipped his wine, growing more and more aware of his own silence, but then B.J. put an end to his unease by saying, "I'm beat. I hope you don't mind if I head off to bed too? You can keep watching Guy Lombardo if you want—"

"No, no," Hawkeye interrupted, relieved. "I'm ready to hit the sack myself." He stood and stretched. "It was fun, though. Ringing in midnight with you and Erin."

B.J. embraced Hawkeye briefly, and then they went off to their respective bedrooms.

Where, just like the last time he'd stayed with the Hunnicutts, Hawkeye didn't get very much sleep at all.


	6. Chapter 6

On January 2nd, B.J. got unexpected news. Karen, the woman who'd been babysitting Erin since Peg had passed away, suddenly announced she was moving out of the area, which would leave B.J. in the lurch as early as the following week.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Hunnicutt," she said with a pained look on her face. "This sort of came out of the blue. My husband's been transferred… it's all happening so fast."

B.J. nodded, but Hawkeye watched his face closely, seeing the worry setting in already. Later, after Karen left, he broached the subject gently. "You'll be able to find another babysitter for Erin, won't you?"

B.J. sighed. "I have a feeling it won't be easy. Ours is a tough schedule for babysitters. When I get called in to the hospital for an emergency, I need someone to take Erin with little to no warning. Karen was close by and always available. She bent over backwards to help me on more than one occasion. Her leaving is… upsetting, to say the least."

Hawkeye's response was out of his mouth before it had even fully formed in his head. It was simply a knee-jerk reaction that made complete sense to him, regardless of whether there was an ulterior motive buried somewhere in his subconscious. "Why don't you consider moving out to Maine, Beej? Come to Crabapple Cove, where you'll have a constant support system. Dad's retired, so he could watch Erin every day, whenever you need him to. He'd love that."

B.J. stared at him, open-mouthed. "Hawkeye—"

"We have hospitals out there, too. I'm sure you could get a job in no time. I know you've never seen the house, but it's this huge Victorian, and we have two spare rooms that would be perfect for you and Erin… well, one of them serves as Dad's study, but trust me when I tell you he rarely uses it." Hawkeye took a breath. He was rambling, his brain going a mile a minute and his mouth struggling to keep up. "I… I'm 100% serious, Beej. Please at least think it over, don't just say no without weighing the pros and cons."

"Hawk," B.J. finally managed to get a word in edgewise, "I've never lived outside of California, except for those two years in Korea… I don't know…"

Hawkeye held up a hand. "Don't answer now. Like I said, give it some thought. That's all I ask. If it's not something you want to do, that's fine, but I'd like to know that you considered it before you came to that conclusion."

B.J. studied him for a long moment, then nodded. "OK, I'll think about it, and I'll talk it over with Erin. But no matter what we end up deciding, it's the most generous offer I think I've ever heard. Thank you."

Hawkeye's heart was pounding. It'd been a completely automatic reaction to the circumstances, and he wondered what he was going to make of the idea later, when he had time to really think it through. It couldn't possibly be a bad idea, could it?

Temptation moving into his house, being right by his side again. He would have to just grow some balls and deal with it, that's all. His best friend needed help, and that was what mattered.

Two days later, B.J. said yes, we gratefully accept your amazing offer, as Hawkeye beamed at him, somehow managing to hold back tears. And less than two weeks after that, B.J. and Erin were packing up all their belongings and moving across the country.


	7. Chapter 7

Erin and B.J. were building their first snowman ever in the Pierce backyard as Hawkeye supervised. It was good packing snow, and the snowman was huge. B.J. was putting the head on as Erin instructed him, "No, it's not in the center, Daddy. You gotta move it a little."

B.J. took a step back to get a better look, and then maneuvered the head until it was finally centered. "There," he said, holding up his hands as if framing a picture. "That look right, Hawk?"

Hawkeye paced a little, studying the snowman from every angle. "Perfect, Beej." He turned to Erin and added, "But he needs a face, doesn't he, Erin?"

That was her cue. She'd already gone into the house and gotten a carrot from Daniel, whom she called Pop-pop, and Hawkeye had looked long and hard until he'd found a couple of large, dark stones for eyes. Now she picked them up off the ground and ran to her daddy, who had to lift her because the snowman was so tall.

"Put the nose on first," he told her, "then the eyes will be easier, don't you think?"

She nodded and did as she was told. Waggle sat obediently off to the side, watching intently as though he understood what was going on.

Hawkeye took it all in, utterly contented. This was his new family—dog and all—and it gave him the most extraordinary warm feeling inside.

It was a little over a week since B.J. and Erin had moved out to Maine. Erin was already in school and making friends. She seemed settled in and happy. Children almost always adjusted to new situations better than adults, though, and Hawkeye had worried a little about B.J., who'd had to contend with a hell of a lot of change in the last eight months. Surely it'd all been a shock to his system, but he seemed to be doing all right. He was going to be starting at Kennebunkport General Hospital on Monday and was excited about the job, looking forward to getting back to surgery.

The snowman finished, with his eyes and nose in place, B.J. set Erin back down and the three of them admired their handiwork. B.J. grinned at his daughter. "Why don't you go tell your Pop-pop that we're done, and that he should come out and see it?"

Erin didn't need to be told twice. She ran toward the house, calling out, "Pop-pop! Come and see! We made a snowman!"

B.J. laughed and Hawkeye noted the look of delight on his face, and he nodded a little to himself.

This… asking B.J. and Erin to pull up stakes, bringing them out here to Crabapple Cove, making them part of the Pierce family… It'd absolutely been the right call.

There was a lot that had gone wrong in B.J.'s life lately, but things were starting to be set right again.


	8. Chapter 8

Erin bounded into the kitchen as B.J. was helping Hawkeye with the dishes. Hawk washed, suds nearly up to his elbows, while B.J. dried. "Daddy!" Erin said excitedly, barely able to stand still. "Can I go over to Mary Ann's house so we can ride her sled, please? Pop-pop says he'll take me over there and watch us."

B.J. placed a clean, dry plate into the kitchen cabinet. "Your Pop-pop is much too good to you, catering to your every whim," he said.

She blinked at him as if he'd spoken French. "So can I go?"

B.J. exchanged smiles with Hawkeye and then gave her a nod. "Yes, you may. But you be sure and thank your Pop-pop, all right?"

She squealed and ran out of the room, calling to Daniel, "I'm allowed to go, Pop-pop! Daddy says I should say thank you!"

Hawkeye and B.J. let out matching chuckles. "He's really spoiling her, Hawk," B.J. repeated. "Honestly, he doesn't have to do everything she asks him to—"

"Beej, he adores your daughter, and he's loving every minute of being with her. Before you guys came out here, he had no idea what to do with himself. I really think he hated his retirement. But now… well, Erin's giving him a purpose." He handed another wet plate to B.J. for drying. "Don't worry, if he ever does get tired of being her constant companion, he'll say so."

B.J. dried the plate, a wistful expression on his face. "This has been good, Hawk," he said softly, not quite able to make eye contact. "The way you've welcomed us in, how great you've both been… Erin and I are very lucky."

"Well… Dad and I feel lucky, too. When it was just the two of us, we were pretty damn sick of each other," Hawkeye quipped.

The levity prompted B.J. to look him in the eyes, and they shared a laugh. Subject closed, Hawkeye silently handed the last dripping wet plate to his friend for drying and proceeded to let the soapy water out of the sink.


	9. Chapter 9

The elevator doors opened and Hawkeye was deposited on the third floor of the hospital. Almost as soon as he stepped off, he spotted B.J. up ahead in the hallway and trotted to catch up to him. "Hey, good-lookin'," he said as he reached B.J.'s side.

"Hey hey!" B.J. exclaimed, stopping in his tracks. "What brings you here, Hawk?"

"Apparently the entire population of Crabapple Cove is healthy today. There was nothing going on at the office, so I closed up shop. Thought I'd come visit ya… take you to lunch. Can you get away, by any chance?"

"If the cafeteria is good enough," B.J. said with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, but I can only spare about 20 minutes. Busy day."

Hawkeye shrugged, "I'll take that."

The hospital cafe always gave Hawkeye pause. It too closely resembled the chow line at the 4077th, though the food was better. Not by much, but better.

They both opted for the relatively safe choice of salads. As they sat down at a table near the windows, Hawkeye couldn't help noticing that a young blonde nurse two tables over was staring at B.J. She was being pretty brazen about it.

Hawkeye looked from her to B.J., who was clearly trying to pretend he was unaware of her attention. "So," Hawk said with a smirk, "who's the young lady?"

"Who would that be?"

"Oh come on, Beej. Don't be coy. You know that sweet little thing over there is staring at you. She's practically drooling." He waited until B.J. finally looked up to meet his eyes. "And…?"

B.J. shrugged, "And nothing. She's hinted that she'd like to go out with me, but…"

"But? You're playing hard to get? What?"

B.J. shrugged a second time. "As it happens, I'm not interested in her. I'm trying not to encourage her in any way."

Hawkeye's teasing smile faded as a thought occurred to him. "Is it too soon? I mean, after…"

With a quick shake of his head, B.J. said, "No, I don't think that's it. I'm just not interested, that's all."

They fell into silence for a while as they ate their salads, and then Hawkeye smoothly changed the subject. Privately, he was glad he didn't have to imagine scenarios where B.J. began dating the perky young blonde, but he hoped his friend wasn't denying himself the possibility of finding someone new to love.


	10. Chapter 10

_(Author's Note: As of Chapter 11, the rating on this fic will need to change to M. Either that or I'll edit it for a T rating, and then make the unedited story available at my LJ. I'm not sure yet which way I'll go.)_

----

"Hawkeye, I don't know about this," B.J. said as he studied the recipe book. "We can just buy a sheet cake from the bakery. That'd be good enough. Erin wouldn't know the difference."

Hawkeye stopped hunting for baking powder long enough to give B.J. a pointed look. "Are you saying you don't think the two of us can bake a simple cake? We're surgeons, for God's sake. No cake recipe is going to confound us."

B.J. grinned, "All right, all right. I'll try anything once."

Finally locating the baking powder, Hawkeye gave an enthusiastic nod. "That's the spirit, Beej. We can do this. Now, where the hell do I find the vanilla extract?"

"Beats me. It's your kitchen."

"Well help me look, because I don't have any idea." They hunted around, alternately bumping into and stepping around each other, until finally B.J. came up with the vanilla extract.

"Ta da!" he said, holding it up, but when Hawkeye reached for it, he yanked it just out of reach with a wicked expression on his face.

"Very funny, Beej, now hand it over," Hawkeye said—and lunged. He practically fell into B.J., who finally decided to be halfway mature and handed over the bottle of vanilla. But as he did, he suddenly burst out laughing, as if the whole "keeping the vanilla away from Hawkeye" trick had been the most hilarious thing ever.

"What so funny?" Hawkeye demanded.

B.J., still chuckling a little, said, "How the hell did you manage to get flour on your forehead, Hawk?"

Lord only knew. Hawkeye reached up to try to wipe it off, but he must not have been successful, because B.J. moved in close then—very close—and lightly brushed his thumb at a spot just above Hawkeye's left eyebrow. His other hand landed on Hawkeye's right hip… he probably wasn't even aware of it. The whole thing gave Hawkeye a heady feeling… B.J.'s touch, his scent, his aura... And was it Hawkeye's imagination, or was B.J. looking at him now with something that might be close to desire?

Time seemed to spin out. They both froze in place. Hawkeye didn't know what to say. He just stared back into B.J.'s eyes, his breathing shallow.

And then, without warning, the moment was gone. B.J. abruptly took a step back and said, "OK, got it off," obviously meaning the flour, and that was that. Hawkeye wondered fleetingly if he'd imagined the whole flirtatious scenario.

"Thanks, Beej." He quickly turned back to the recipe book and busied himself pretending to read, willing his heart to stop racing. And mercifully, they got back to work on their cake.

Despite a brief scare when they thought they'd put in too much sugar, their baking experience was a rousing success, and Erin's birthday cake was delicious. She clapped when they presented it to her (in blue icing, it said: _Happy Birthday, Sweetie!_) and she ended up eating two pieces.

Earlier in the day, Hawkeye had given her ice skates as a present, and the four of them had gone out to the skating pond down the road. B.J. didn't skate, but the rest of them did, Hawkeye and Daniel showing Erin the ropes and giving her tips on how to keep her balance. She fell only a few times before she started to get the hang of it. She'd tired pretty quickly, but on their walk back home, she'd asked when they could go skating again.

"Has it been a good birthday, Erin?" Daniel asked her now as the four of them sat slumped at the table, too stuffed from cake to move. The unspoken part of that question was, of course, _It's your first birthday without your mom… are you all right?_

Erin lifted her lashes and looked at him, then smiled. "Yeah, Pop-pop. It's been fun."


	11. Chapter 11

B.J. turned the volume up on the radio when he heard the beginning of the weather forecast. "…And by the time it's all said and done," the DJ said cheerfully, "we'll have 10 to 12 more inches on the ground."

Coming up next to B.J. in the living room, Hawkeye asked, "So how do you like Maine by now?"

B.J. smiled. "Oh, snow's great, I don't mind it. I'm just worried about your dad and Erin getting back home. The roads are starting to look slick."

Hawkeye took a look out the window. B.J. was right, the snow was falling at a pretty good clip and the roads were getting covered. His father was an experienced driver in this weather, though, so he was only slightly worried. He was about to say as much to B.J. when the phone rang.

He picked it up and speak of the devil, there was his father on the other end. "Hey Dad," he said, subconsciously taking another glance out the window. "Where are you?"

"Son, we're going to stay here in Portland overnight, all right?" His father's voice sounded distant; the connection wasn't the greatest. "Erin's fine, we're both fine. But the roads are getting bad and we started to do a little sliding around, and I didn't want to frighten the poor child… not to mention take any chances when it wasn't necessary. We found a motel room, we'll be fine. OK?"

"Sounds very sensible, Dad."

"Erin's excited as hell about staying in a motel. Doesn't take much to make her happy, huh?" He chuckled and Hawkeye joined in. "She wants to talk to her dad. Can you put him on?"

"You bet." He turned around to find B.J. hovering, ready and waiting for the phone. "Beej, Erin's just fine. She and Dad are staying in Portland for the night. Here, she wants to talk to you."

He let B.J. have a chat with his daughter and moved to the window, looking out at the snowstorm. Ever since he was a kid, he loved snowstorms. As a Maine boy, he'd had no idea there were places that never got snow, like California, where B.J. grew up. This was all S.O.P. to him.

He heard B.J. end the call with, "I love you, sweetheart. You listen to your Pop-pop and be good, OK? Bye bye."

Hawkeye smiled. Erin and her Pop-pop were quite a team. They'd really taken to one another like… well, like Hawkeye and B.J. when they'd met on Korean soil, actually. An instantaneous connection.

The phone conversation over, B.J. came to stand at his side and the two of them watched the snow fall in silence for a while. Hawkeye felt blanketed in warmth inside the cozy house, with a fire going in the fireplace, and with his best friend next to him. Just the two of them. Dad and Erin not coming home until tomorrow…

He redirected his thoughts before they could go down a dangerous path.

B.J. broke the silence with, "I'm glad they decided to stay put. Erin's all wound up, though. Your poor dad… He may not get much rest with a rambunctious 7-year-old climbing the walls."

Hawkeye got a kick out of the image. "He knows how to handle her." But even as he said it, he had his doubts.

"Hey!" B.J. suddenly exclaimed, interrupting Hawkeye's musings. "_Gunsmoke_ time." He pointed at his watch. They never missed _Gunsmoke_, it was one of the many rituals they'd established since B.J. had moved in. Hawkeye crossed the room and turned off the radio while B.J. turned on the TV, and they both landed on the couch at the same time, just as the theme song heralded the beginning of the show.

They sat closer on the couch than they needed to, B.J.'s thigh right up against Hawkeye's, but it didn't mean anything. It was just how they were... they touched a lot… always had.

B.J. snaked his arm across the back of the couch, behind Hawkeye's shoulders, but surely it was nothing more than a couple of best friends settling in to watch some TV, making themselves comfortable.

For the next hour, they watched _Gunsmoke_, imploring Marshal Dillon to jump Miss Kitty's bones already, and making the occasional snide comment about the commercials. It was so reminiscent of their movie nights back at the 4077th that Hawkeye almost felt as if he'd traveled back in time. All they needed to complete the illusion was a hairy Lebanese transvestite operating a temperamental projector at the back of the room.

The western gave way to the local news, and they stayed put on the couch for a little while, watching the reports of heavily falling snow and roads becoming treacherous. But when the hard news ended and the sports segment began, Hawkeye stood and said, "Feel free to stay up and watch TV as late as you'd like, Beej, but I'm going to bed."

"No," B.J. said, standing and shutting off the TV. "I'm going upstairs too."

Hawkeye turned off the downstairs lights and took one last look out the window at their winter wonderland. They left Waggle sleeping soundly on his favorite chair, all four legs pointing in the air.

Something felt a little strange as they climbed the stairs together. Neither one of them was saying anything, and Hawkeye found himself getting nervous for no discernible reason. There was something in the air between them… he didn't think it was his imagination.

By the time they reached the top of the stairs, he knew the tension between them was definitely _not_ his imagination. B.J. was at his side, against him, invading his personal space, their hips bumping as they walked. Hawkeye cleared his throat, wondering when exactly his mouth had turned into the Sahara. Another touch, hand against hand… finger stroking finger… it couldn't have been accidental… could it?

When Hawkeye paused at his bedroom and turned to say goodnight—because he honestly had no idea what else to do—B.J. caught him off guard by putting a hand on his side and pushing him ever-so-gently to the closed door. Solid wood at his back, soft B.J. pressing against his front, Hawkeye heard his own heart thundering in his ears. He watched B.J.'s face, transfixed. His best friend's eyes fell to half mast as he leaned in even closer and breathed, "Hawkeye…"

All resistance gone, Hawkeye met him halfway and brought their mouths together in a scorching open-mouthed kiss. He had no idea where this came from and for a moment, he just pushed away rational thought and let it happen. B.J.'s mouth couldn't have tasted any sweeter… the realization of this long-held dream couldn't have been any more satisfying. Time stopped, and Hawkeye's world consisted only of B.J. and him and this magical moment, this beautiful kiss.

But then his conscience kicked in, and he forced himself to break the kiss, putting a hand on B.J.'s chest to establish some distance. Dazed, aroused, flustered, he took a shaky breath and then heard himself saying, "B.J., I don't want you to do something—"

_You might regret_, was how he was planning to finish that, but B.J. cut him off. "Hawk," he said, a seductive smile forming on his face, "let's not pretend this is a new thought. This is… well, this is something that's been building between us for years. I think we both know that I'm not doing anything impulsive here. Not at all. Now… do you really want to debate it, or…"

He let the thought trail off, his adorable smile growing a little, a sultry "come hither" look in his eyes. Oh, Hawkeye had no intention of debating further. He grabbed B.J. behind the neck and pulled him in for a second kiss, this one bolder and better executed than the first… this one so passionate and intense that they both moaned as their tongues met. Hawkeye reached behind him and opened his bedroom door, grabbing a fistful of B.J.'s shirt while they still kissed, blindly pulling him in.

He steered B.J. to the wall, shoving him up against it a little harder than he intended, the kisses continuing, little whimpers escaping from both of their throats. Eventually needing air, Hawkeye reluctantly released B.J.'s mouth and buried his face in his neck, breathing hard and breathing him in. He smiled; everything was perfect. B.J.'s smell, his harsh, ragged breath in Hawkeye's ears, his hands kneading into Hawkeye's waist. It was everything he'd imagined in his daydreams… it was nothing like he'd imagined… it was better.

"Hawkeye…" B.J.'s voice was raspy, pleading, and Hawkeye was only too happy to oblige. He put his mouth back on B.J.'s, tugging at his lower lip, licking his tongue. His fingers played with the soft hair at the back of B.J.'s neck, making little swirls.

"Uhnnn," he mumbled incoherently, not entirely sure what it was he intended to say. He couldn't be held responsible for the noises coming out of his mouth at the moment. He broke the kiss and put his forehead on B.J.'s, taking a couple of slow, deliberate breaths. Their groins were pressed together and they were both hard, grinding against each other, instinctively seeking release.

"Hawkeye," B.J. groaned again, sounding as if he were in pain.

Hawkeye sank to his knees in front of his friend, hands cupping his ass. Then one hand moved to the front, palm resting on the bulge in B.J.'s jeans… stroking once, twice. B.J. moaned. Beyond rational thought now, Hawkeye ordered his fumbling fingers to unzip B.J.'s jeans, and he yanked them down, the boxers right after.

"Hawkeye… Hawkeye… Hawkeye." It sounded involuntary, like B.J. was so far gone that his mouth was on autopilot. But Hawkeye loved the sound of his name in that voice, so thick with want. He listened to his name tripping off the tongue of the man he loved, and he shut his eyes, taking B.J. into his mouth, his hands once again finding their way to the pliant flesh of B.J.'s ass.

He thought about a handshake at Kimpo, about a blinding smile that nearly left him speechless. He thought about practical jokes and fights and schemes and chess games. He thought about daily showers and nightly fantasies. He thought about a heartbreaking goodbye on Korean soil… a goodbye that wasn't one after all.

All of this and more flashed through his mind as he sucked and licked and listened to soft murmurs of pleasure.

Best relationship of his life… suddenly turning better.

Instinctively B.J. began to thrust, and Hawkeye firmly gripped his hips, holding him still, anchoring him to the wall. _I'll take care of you, baby,_ he thought, his mouth still working. _I'll get you there._

A moment later, he did.


	12. Chapter 12

Hawkeye was stretched out on the bed, naked, hard as hell and trembling with desire. B.J. was poised over him, looking down at him with that beautiful smile of his, and Hawkeye found he couldn't speak. Couldn't do anything other than stare up at that face, lost in those eyes.

Then B.J. kissed him quickly on the mouth and moved down the bed, bending over to take the rock-hard erection in his mouth. Hawkeye licked his lips, looking down his body to watch his lover… the sight was glorious, the sensation exquisite.

He shut his eyes then and put his head back, surrendering… his hands clutched at the bedsheets, his entire body was on fire. He hadn't had sex for quite some time, he'd been too obsessed with B.J. to consider dating in recent months… and it'd been a _very_ long time since he'd been with a man. But this wasn't just sex and it wasn't just sex with a man… it was sex with B.J., the love of his life. He wanted to memorize every moment, he wanted to savor every touch, every kiss.

But his brain betrayed him, unable to focus, too lost in sensory overload to file much of anything away for future reference. Blood pounded in his ears and his knuckles went white as he gripped the sheets tight… tighter… Until finally he let out a cry as he came, hot and hard, into his best friend's mouth.

* * *

Sometime later, the frenzied lovemaking having given way to sweet afterglow, they stretched out next to each other, sharing long, slow, lazy, wet kisses. The sex had been fantastic, but this—lying belly to belly, holding each other and just kissing… this was pretty damn good too.

B.J.'s hand traveled lazily down and then back up Hawkeye's chest. His thumb found and then circled a nipple. The expression on his face was one of utter bliss.

Running a finger lightly along B.J.'s lower lip, Hawkeye said with a smile, "So, this wasn't a new thought, huh?"

"You know it wasn't."

"Back in Korea… you thought about this?"

B.J. placed his palm on Hawkeye's chest and stared at it, considering his words. "Sure I did—a lot. What I felt for you… I don't think I'd ever felt that before. But I loved—_adored_—my wife. It was confusing as hell." He turned his focus to Hawkeye's face, searching his eyes. "Believe it or not, I thought about talking to Father Mulcahy about it, but I never got up the nerve. I didn't think anyone would understand… hell, _I_ didn't understand. All I knew for sure was that I didn't want to complicate my life… I mean, any more than it already was. But yeah. Of course I wanted you. There always was something between us, wasn't there?"

Hawkeye reached down and stroked the fingers splayed out on his chest. "Yeah. I guess there was," he admitted. "But you did the right thing. You were married, and to a wonderful woman. We wouldn't have been able to forgive ourselves if we'd acted on our feelings."

B.J. leaned down and kissed Hawkeye's chest. "But this… This feels right. It _is_ right. I mean, I'll always miss Peg."

"I know."

"But she's gone and I've accepted that, and I'm ready for a new start now. There was a time when I didn't think I'd ever heal, but I have—and you're one of the reasons why. A _big_ reason why. I love you."

Hawkeye's heart did a slow somersault in his chest. It'd been implied, of course, but it was the first time B.J. actually spoke the words. "I love you too, Beej," he said.

It was after 2 o'clock by the time they fell asleep, sated, wrapped around each other, both of them smiling.

Outside, the snow continued to fall.

* * *

They lingered in bed the next morning, with the house still to themselves and at least 10 inches of new snow on the ground outside, keeping most sane people in their houses despite the tolling of church bells. As they lay there snuggling, there was soft, lazy laughter… quiet conversation about work and Erin… warm touches and tender kisses… but mostly just a lot of savoring the moment.

When finally they rolled out of bed mid-morning, they padded naked to the bathroom and showered together, facing each other under the spray, trading coy smiles and wet kisses, and lathering one another with soapy abandon.

Hawkeye couldn't imagine any better way to spend a Sunday morning. He supposed that was sacrilegious. Well, he'd never been much of a churchgoer anyway. But standing here in B.J.'s arms, after so many years of dreaming about it, certainly had him believing in a higher power.


	13. Chapter 13

Wednesday was B.J.'s day off from the hospital, so when the alarm clock sounded at 7 a.m. for Hawkeye, he immediately smacked it into silence. Kissing his sleeping lover on the cheek, he slipped quietly out of bed, dressed, and headed downstairs.

He found his father sitting at the kitchen table, wolfing down scrambled eggs and toast and reading the newspaper. "Coffee made?" he asked his pop.

"Yeah, just got done brewing, nice and fresh." Daniel set aside the newspaper and glanced up at his son. "B.J. sleeping in this morning?"

There was something in his father's tone that made Hawkeye go stock-still. _Shit,_ he thought. He forced himself into movement, pouring himself a cup of coffee and then taking a seat next to his dad. "I guess you've noticed?"

"I've noticed that you haven't been spending the past few nights in your bedroom."

Hawkeye could feel himself blush. "Yeah. Well." He cleared his throat and tried to gather his thoughts. He found he couldn't look at his dad. "We… uh… we're very much in love. I hope you'll understand…"

"Son, I'm not disapproving. Does it sound like I am?" Daniel put a hand on the back of Hawkeye's neck and forced him into eye contact. "You're both adults and capable of making your own decisions. If you want to know the truth, I had a feeling…"

"You did? About this?" Hawkeye asked, shocked.

Daniel gave a half-shrug as he released his hold on his son's neck. "Call it a vibe between the two of you. Something intangible, but there. Let's just say I'm not surprised." He paused, forked some of his scrambled eggs into his mouth and chewed, and then added, "Were the two of you… back there in Korea?"

"No, sir," Hawkeye replied immediately. "I've had feelings for him for years, but I didn't act on them. Not until now. I respected his marriage."

"Good man."

"So… uh… this is all right, under your roof? I mean, I'd understand if you wanted us to move out."

Daniel waved his fork, "Nonsense. I'm not upset about this, Hawkeye. I know love when I see it. You have my blessing. I haven't known B.J. and Erin very long, but they feel like my family already. As long as you all want to live here, you're more than welcome to."

Hawkeye's smile felt ridiculously huge. He leaned into Daniel and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Do I have the best father in the universe or what?"

"You sure do," Daniel agreed, shoveling the rest of his eggs into his mouth and then grinning around them.


	14. Chapter 14

If Erin noticed a difference in their relationship, she didn't say anything. They were careful not to kiss in her presence, but they often held hands or put their arms around each other… it was subconscious, natural, and if Erin noticed, she didn't comment.

Perhaps she noticed… and approved.

When she came home from school with a letter inviting her parents to come in and meet her teacher, she asked both B.J. and Hawkeye to go.

Hawkeye looked up from the letter to glance at B.J., wondering out loud, "Is that a good idea?"

B.J. shrugged, "Why not? You're her Uncle Hawkeye. Hell, even Pop-pop could go, but we don't want to overwhelm the poor teacher."

Erin was bouncing up and down. "Yeah, yeah, Pop-pop should go too!" she squealed.

With a laugh, B.J. put a hand on her shoulder to try to settle her. "That'll teach me to open my big mouth. Honey, your teacher doesn't need to meet the entire family. But Hawkeye and I will both go, OK?"

Hawkeye, still holding the letter in his hand, looked from B.J. to Erin and back again, a lump in his throat. They weren't even considering how it might look for two men to show up at a teacher-parent meeting; it was irrelevant in their eyes. All they cared about was Hawkeye being included.

"Erin," he said, "I'd be honored to go along with your dad to meet your teacher. Thank you."

Her face lit up and she started talking a mile a minute, "Oh, goodie! Mrs. Davis is really nice and she told me I'm one of her favorite students and she sometimes lets me blow the whistle when it's time to come in from recess and I really like her so I know _you'll_ like her…"

The exuberant monologue continued for quite some time, and Hawkeye watched her with a mixture of love and pride, feeling very much like a father.


	15. Chapter 15

B.J. was lying on his side, propped on an elbow, running his fingers up and down Hawkeye's arm. For his part, Hawkeye was waiting for his heart to slow down, waiting for his equilibrium to return after the teeth-rattling orgasm he'd just had.

"I have a question to ask you," B.J. said softly, and the expression on his face told Hawkeye the matter was a weighty one.

"Beej, I'm just barely conscious. You blew my mind a minute ago. Give me a second to remember where I am… _who_ I am."

B.J. laughed, and the sound filled the bedroom. Hawkeye loved that laugh. It always filled his chest with warmth, as if his heart were giving off a glow. He took a couple of breaths and stretched, his body tingling. Eventually he managed to float back down to earth, and he instructed his brain to concentrate on whatever it was B.J. wanted to talk about. "OK, shoot. What question?"

B.J. opened his mouth, then hesitated, apparently trying to decide how to proceed. Finally, with a self-conscious smile, he said, "It's coming up on one year since Peg died, and I want to fly back to Mill Valley to visit her grave."

Hawkeye turned to face him full-on then, nodding encouragement. "Absolutely, Beej. You absolutely should do that—"

B.J. cut him off, "And I want you to come with me. Please? I'd really like you to come with me."

Touched, Hawkeye could only stare for a moment, not quite sure what to say. But then he knew the only thing that mattered was the right answer. "Of course. I'd be happy to."

He was rewarded with a stunning Hunnicutt grin. "Thank you."

Hawkeye reached up and put a hand behind B.J.'s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. "Whatever you need, Beej. You know I'm always here for you."

* * *

B.J. took hold of Hawkeye's hand as they headed away from the car and into the graveyard. They were both quiet, lost in their own thoughts. It was a beautiful Northern California day, sunny and warm, a complete contrast from the same day one year earlier, when Hawkeye vividly remembered Erin complaining that she was freezing and wanted to go home.

Today the sun felt good, invigorating. Birds were singing. The air was fresh and clear. The Golden Gate Bridge shimmered in the distance.

As they neared Peg's gravesite, B.J. spoke hesitantly, "Hawk, can I have a minute alone with her first? I know it probably sounds silly…"

"Not silly at all. Of course. I'll stay back here—take your time." Hawkeye stopped a couple of yards away from Peg's grave, keeping a respectful distance so that B.J. could have privacy. He watched as B.J. stepped up to the grave and knelt. He had a bouquet of flowers that they'd bought on the drive from their hotel, and he set them down next to the headstone.

Hawkeye shut his eyes, remembering Peg's smile and her joie de vivre and her fierce devotion to her family. _Rest in peace, sweet woman,_ he thought. _I'll take care of them._

He opened his eyes just as B.J. turned toward him and held out a hand, beckoning. Hawkeye went to him, taking the offered hand in his, feeling immensely honored to be a part of this family moment.

B.J. kissed the hand he held, and then addressed Peg's grave. "Honey, I know you. And I know you would want me to be happy. Well, that's what I am right now… with Hawkeye. I love him, and I'm very happy."

Hawkeye swallowed hard, his eyes welling with tears. This was B.J.'s visit, not his, so he said nothing. He didn't trust his voice anyway.

It was indefinable and inexplicable, but Hawkeye swore he felt some kind of presence there, with them. A spiritual presence, granting approval, wishing them the best.

Perhaps feeling it too, B.J. lifted his face to the sky and took a deep breath. He stood that way, motionless, for a couple minutes, maybe saying a prayer, maybe just reflecting on his memories of Peg. Hawkeye loved his strength, his determination to do this, to properly say goodbye to his wife on the anniversary of her death. There was a time, Hawkeye recalled, when B.J. wasn't very good at goodbyes.

As one final gesture, B.J. blew a kiss in the direction of his wife's headstone, then turned to look at Hawkeye. "OK," he said, his smile bittersweet. "Let's go."

Hawkeye slipped an arm around B.J.'s waist and the two of them started to walk back toward the rental car. Beneath their feet, grass eventually gave way to gravel as they reached the road. Hawkeye asked softly, "You want to stop anywhere else before we head to the airport?"

B.J. considered it, but shook his head. "Nah," he said and leaned in for a kiss. His blue eyes had never looked so serene. "I'm ready to go home, Hawk. Take me home."


End file.
